Phone rang very early in the morhing "hey ! I truly miss you, is everything ok ? I had the strangest dream last night, that you and the boys were all leaving me for a place far and away, you said goodbye, then our two boys. It was sad when our youngest said, good-bye papa, don't be sad, we will come back and get you' . I sat there quietly, almost crying and thinking ... , fear running through my mind. My stranger, that is probably your unconcious fearful mind telling you that you do in fact, love your family and wants them back. I may be wrong, it could mean something else ... message from God ? sign to stop this crazy lifestyle and start to get serious about it ? sign of aging perhaps ? OR maybe it's just another unconcious game that means nothing. All I know is after listening to all this, fear makes me frantically calling and wanting to talk to my boys, driving home super safely so I can show up at school in one piece, kissing and hugging them like there's no tomorrow.
All this tells me that, literally nothing matters more in life than these two little man who define me as a true women !!
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