Life changes after J.Lo looks alike attempt. My stranger, after spending days being the person I wish he is when we were together, has changed. He become a sad, depressed person. I was working when he texted me early in the morning asking about boys, then said something like 'hey ! please tell boys I love them no matter what, if I were to leave this world before you, please come and visit my grave, it will make me rest in peace, hopefully'. Now, I was stunned not knowing how to respond. I must have forgotten how to breathe until I feel the warmth of my tears come running down my face. What is wrong him ? And before I get to respond, he texted again 'Yeah, you know my blood pressure is going up lately, I'm just feeling ..... different'. Well my stranger, I am feeling different and sad. For once I thought I can forget him and move on with my life, if I ever decided to not rebuild our lives like before. But my tears is telling me that I probably do care about him, worry about him, love him ? I don't know. I just want my children to have a father they can grow up with, to wrestle with, making fun of each other, to do the spanking business, to be there when they graduate, at weddings, enjoying grandchildren. Why does he sounds like he's giving up on life? I was crying all day at every opportunities, even quietly during a meeting that talk about technology. Technology? I don't care, I am feeling sad dear technology, for now you have to be on your own !!
A friend later told me, it's probably good that he's feeling like that, he is probably knocking some senses back to his head, another friend told me not to worry, it's probably the J.Lo dress again. See, isn't friendship great !!
No comments:
Post a Comment