YES ! I do feel like killing somebody, that big fat dumb ass ! This is the story of Mont Blanc .....
We work so hard, organizing meeting with very important people from a rich company, working our ass off to please them, to make their stay in this beautiful country a superb experience, all the while not expecting any return except our usual monthly salary. We have a burning desire to do this job right. Well, perfectly right. Those are nice, fun loving smart people, so kind and generous they gave 14 of us a Mont Blanc each at the end of their visit. Only one person walk out with Mont Blanc in his hand, it become his, because he happened to have a smart boss, who let other people value his subordinate. Well, the rest of us, dang that stupid lousy looking boss. Mr. W, let me tell you this, you're the ugliest boss I've had in all my life, you worry about nothing but $$$. I feel sorry for you. I just wish for once you try to learn to be human, you know, like eat wisely so your dumb ass is not that huge and annoying, or cut your hair neat, exercise at least. I wonder how you made it up the corporate ladder when you can't even speak well, remember that one time you have about 500 uh and ah in a 1-hour talk you gave. I learn nothing except uhhh and ahhhh.
You make no effort to think to try to say yes, you can have the Mont Blanc, all you said was, no we can't keep it because of the $$$. Again $$$$ !!! I hate you I hate you, I hope whatever $$ you gonna get in your annual raise are frozen for the next 14 years, at least ! Get the hell out of my life, I don't need a coward idiot to lead my professional life. Give me back my MONT BLANCCCCCCC !!!
Monday 6 June 2011
Sunday 5 June 2011
Strange crazy friends
I have been lazy for a long time and I need to have something interesting to write in order to get back on track, so lets talk about a hillariously crazy strange bunch of people I've ever known in my life ....
Let's start with a what seems to be a happy gay couple yet the gayest of them is actually .... straight ! We went to movies one night and both of them are dressed in pink long sleeves shirt and gray pants. Of course you can tell which one is gay, the one with muscles protruding all over (a.k.a FAT DEMON) OR the other one oh-i-think-i-wanna be-gay with ONLY tummy protruding from the rest of what seems soon-to-be-obese body FatD. The straight guy can never make up his mind on anything and we trained his girlfriend to be ... a queen control lady. And guess what, she picks up pretty well, in fact in one night she made a very important decision that her boyfriend will never be able to make, go for a movie outing. I am liking her oh so much, good job QUEEN-C ! There's another girlfriend in this bunch who fart like shit, her fart sends all friends around her in total chaos, we can all die from not breathing, we will also die if we breathe in ! She is a recent yoga devoter who think piltes ia a yoga cult ! She is higly sugared all her life, except, she don't have to take sugar to be sugared ! I want to call her SUGARY-FARTY Another one is a boyfriend who has breasts, we love to gossip about his secret rendevous to McDonald, despite him telling us that he is a vegan. Fat Demon call him DumbleD Another one is a dancing engineer, a used-to-be nerd who got 25As (or what it seems) in his exam, now work as a tubing designer (or rather pipe designer hahaha !) but think he is the Dolce Gabbana of tubing design. He does actually look like a nerdy engineer, only to leave office 5 sharp to catch is dancing class. Now isn't that strange !
Well, not forgetting me, a 40-something gen-Y lady, now how does that work? I dress like them, think like them but hey, they can never lie to me, because I am 40-something ! Call me Jlo-G, because I feel like one !
All of us has been assigned a beauty ID, because we are beautiful people, regardless what others say. Maybe we need to give this group of beautiful strange people a name .... maybe 'Don't hate me coz I'm beautiful' or 'Fat no no !' or 'Long torso short torso I'm still beautiful' or 'Gym my man' or 'No more McDonald'.
Fat demon was once asked what is the exercise to do during movie to stay beautiful, this was his answer 'No need exercise in the cinema, as far as code 14B concerns, we beauties are impervious to ergonomic injuries. Just lengthen ur spine and soften ur breath, nobody wanna hear u breathing so dang hard' ................. hahahahahahahaha !
I am blessed with crazy stranggies, Stay beautiful all strangers !!
Let's start with a what seems to be a happy gay couple yet the gayest of them is actually .... straight ! We went to movies one night and both of them are dressed in pink long sleeves shirt and gray pants. Of course you can tell which one is gay, the one with muscles protruding all over (a.k.a FAT DEMON) OR the other one oh-i-think-i-wanna be-gay with ONLY tummy protruding from the rest of what seems soon-to-be-obese body FatD. The straight guy can never make up his mind on anything and we trained his girlfriend to be ... a queen control lady. And guess what, she picks up pretty well, in fact in one night she made a very important decision that her boyfriend will never be able to make, go for a movie outing. I am liking her oh so much, good job QUEEN-C ! There's another girlfriend in this bunch who fart like shit, her fart sends all friends around her in total chaos, we can all die from not breathing, we will also die if we breathe in ! She is a recent yoga devoter who think piltes ia a yoga cult ! She is higly sugared all her life, except, she don't have to take sugar to be sugared ! I want to call her SUGARY-FARTY Another one is a boyfriend who has breasts, we love to gossip about his secret rendevous to McDonald, despite him telling us that he is a vegan. Fat Demon call him DumbleD Another one is a dancing engineer, a used-to-be nerd who got 25As (or what it seems) in his exam, now work as a tubing designer (or rather pipe designer hahaha !) but think he is the Dolce Gabbana of tubing design. He does actually look like a nerdy engineer, only to leave office 5 sharp to catch is dancing class. Now isn't that strange !
Well, not forgetting me, a 40-something gen-Y lady, now how does that work? I dress like them, think like them but hey, they can never lie to me, because I am 40-something ! Call me Jlo-G, because I feel like one !
All of us has been assigned a beauty ID, because we are beautiful people, regardless what others say. Maybe we need to give this group of beautiful strange people a name .... maybe 'Don't hate me coz I'm beautiful' or 'Fat no no !' or 'Long torso short torso I'm still beautiful' or 'Gym my man' or 'No more McDonald'.
Fat demon was once asked what is the exercise to do during movie to stay beautiful, this was his answer 'No need exercise in the cinema, as far as code 14B concerns, we beauties are impervious to ergonomic injuries. Just lengthen ur spine and soften ur breath, nobody wanna hear u breathing so dang hard' ................. hahahahahahahaha !
I am blessed with crazy stranggies, Stay beautiful all strangers !!
Monday 16 May 2011
Strangely bored and lonely
My stranger is acting strange again, that shouldn't be so strange, we break up because of his strange way of life anyway. But why am I feeling sad over it all over again ? For quite some time, he was acting like he is in love, calling and texting endlessly, letting me enjoy my sweet revenge. And now ... he is gone ! We have not spoken for days, he hasn't call, he hasn't been texting. I do not know whether he is alive or dead. What frustrates me is, didn't he care to know what is happening to his children anymore? I am sad to see the boys no longer ask for their father. Don't they care anymore, he obviously do not care, that's for sure. What is happening to the relationship to the three man in my life? What has gone wrong ? The thing is, why am I feeling strangely sad and lonely. This is NOT the kind of feeling I want to have, I am single, I am a free person, I should be going out enjoying life. Well, the whether is not at all helping. The sky is as gloomy as my spirit, but why ?
No, I do not love him anymore ... my trust against him has taken that away. All this feeling is eating me right from the core of living, I am sad that this has happened to me, I am lonely that I do not have adult to talk too at home, I am angry at how inconsiderate a man can be, they just come and go as they wishes. I am so in need of myself, the happy me. I have tried so hard to enjoy the rest of the day. I can't go out shopping anymore, because it's going to rain, and because I am so sick and tired of it already. So, what so I do now ?
Strange, but I do not have the answer ..... for now, I'll be nice to the two important man in my life, come on boys, let's go out and have some fun !
No, I do not love him anymore ... my trust against him has taken that away. All this feeling is eating me right from the core of living, I am sad that this has happened to me, I am lonely that I do not have adult to talk too at home, I am angry at how inconsiderate a man can be, they just come and go as they wishes. I am so in need of myself, the happy me. I have tried so hard to enjoy the rest of the day. I can't go out shopping anymore, because it's going to rain, and because I am so sick and tired of it already. So, what so I do now ?
Strange, but I do not have the answer ..... for now, I'll be nice to the two important man in my life, come on boys, let's go out and have some fun !
Saturday 7 May 2011
Strange dream part 1 - Dear tummy ....
I have never experience a day of life without my dear friend tummy. It doesn't matter how skinny I was a long long time ago, especially when I am fat, even when I'm fasting, even after almost 5 years practising yoga, my dear tummy has always been there with me, haunting my bikiniless life. For many many years I wonder why. Why am I so unfortunate that I always have a friend I never wanted, bouncing like jelly, talk when I talk, move when I move. Tummy makes me work extra hard to suck it in, when I bumped into cute guy or when yoga teacher is nearby, when wearing tight skirt, ah, folding on top of skinny jeans. When I am in sarvangasana (a yoga pose, shoulder stand) my tummy is like landslide falling towards my face that it's so suffocating. I was horrified to see the endless layers I've been carrying all these years. For once dear tummy, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE !! I even had a strange dream that I went through liposuction, and I'm not gonna tell you how I seriously consider doing it for real.
Today, I saw a picture of me helping a friend to hold her inversion, ah, my dear tummy, there you are again. But this time feeling different, I know that's the kind of friend that will never leaves me, my tummy is willing to stand by me as I did my poses under the morning sun, in the spirit of helping the unfortunates in Japan through karma yoga I did with other kind souls. For the first time in my life, I love you tummy, you're my identity, you are me, you make me go through aerobics, and yoga, and sit-ups, you are my motivator. You keep pushing me off my limits, for that ..... I thank you tummy !! I embrace you, we are one !
Today, I saw a picture of me helping a friend to hold her inversion, ah, my dear tummy, there you are again. But this time feeling different, I know that's the kind of friend that will never leaves me, my tummy is willing to stand by me as I did my poses under the morning sun, in the spirit of helping the unfortunates in Japan through karma yoga I did with other kind souls. For the first time in my life, I love you tummy, you're my identity, you are me, you make me go through aerobics, and yoga, and sit-ups, you are my motivator. You keep pushing me off my limits, for that ..... I thank you tummy !! I embrace you, we are one !
Tuesday 3 May 2011
Life is like your hair
At least mine is ! Forrest Gump said life is like a box of chocolate, but hell, I don't wanna be eating chocs all my life and die fat ! I think for me, it's more like my hair ... now, think about this .....
When i was younger, I kept my hair short, I was definitely busted looking anti-social nerd, you know, short hair, still short number of years of life, short, fat, short, fat. Simple straight-to-the-point life. I don't care how I look like, I don't care what people say about it, I keep it simple, I like to have short hair, I like to eat, I was fat yes, if you laugh at me ... not my problem !!
Then as my hair grow towards the shoulder, ah, the difficult part of my life. As much as I wasn't sure to cut my hair back to being short or to let it grow, life was like that. I wasn't sure whether I was a child or an adult. How do I speak, what do I wear, who should I hang-out with, who do I sit with during dinner, do I gossip with the adults, or play with those kids ! I dont know ! Hate my hair, hate my life .... !
Then, as years pass by, so does the age, the hair gets longer, pass the shoulder. I sort of decided that I'm not gonna cut it as yet, but I need spices to life as much as I need different style of my hair, so I colored it, layered, recolor, trim. Trying hard to look feminine yet adding excitement to it. Same goes to life, I've reached a comfort zone, this is it, this is me, but I need some spices added, so I got married, be a mother, then be single. As you pass through those cycle, you age gracefully, enjoying every single present moment, love my longer hair, feeling great as a mother, yet enjoying single life.
I always remember making the biggest mistake, getting my hair permed! How did I even get the idea to do that, I must have been crazy ! Did make mistakes in my life, of course, many more times than perming my hair ! Do I learned from it, I'll be stupid if I don't ....
I've passed the difficult moment, I've passed the shoulder, I am at this phase I love the most, enjoying the feeling of my naturally long straight hair at the back of my shoulder, enjoying life as it is.
To make life more interesting, I got my free natural blow dry after each yoga class, thank you to downward dog and all those inversions, great hair great life.
Namaste hair, I am so blessed !
When i was younger, I kept my hair short, I was definitely busted looking anti-social nerd, you know, short hair, still short number of years of life, short, fat, short, fat. Simple straight-to-the-point life. I don't care how I look like, I don't care what people say about it, I keep it simple, I like to have short hair, I like to eat, I was fat yes, if you laugh at me ... not my problem !!
Then as my hair grow towards the shoulder, ah, the difficult part of my life. As much as I wasn't sure to cut my hair back to being short or to let it grow, life was like that. I wasn't sure whether I was a child or an adult. How do I speak, what do I wear, who should I hang-out with, who do I sit with during dinner, do I gossip with the adults, or play with those kids ! I dont know ! Hate my hair, hate my life .... !
Then, as years pass by, so does the age, the hair gets longer, pass the shoulder. I sort of decided that I'm not gonna cut it as yet, but I need spices to life as much as I need different style of my hair, so I colored it, layered, recolor, trim. Trying hard to look feminine yet adding excitement to it. Same goes to life, I've reached a comfort zone, this is it, this is me, but I need some spices added, so I got married, be a mother, then be single. As you pass through those cycle, you age gracefully, enjoying every single present moment, love my longer hair, feeling great as a mother, yet enjoying single life.
I always remember making the biggest mistake, getting my hair permed! How did I even get the idea to do that, I must have been crazy ! Did make mistakes in my life, of course, many more times than perming my hair ! Do I learned from it, I'll be stupid if I don't ....
I've passed the difficult moment, I've passed the shoulder, I am at this phase I love the most, enjoying the feeling of my naturally long straight hair at the back of my shoulder, enjoying life as it is.
To make life more interesting, I got my free natural blow dry after each yoga class, thank you to downward dog and all those inversions, great hair great life.
Namaste hair, I am so blessed !
Thursday 28 April 2011
Beautiful stranger and Fat Demon
Wow, a great, great week ! I've been imagining that I am that model in long slim black pants, red blouse and orange scarf, carrying the new LV boungeliere (ah ! spell), long hair pretty me huh ! I love that bag, a MUST-HAVE, I will dress exactly like that model with that bag when I get it, god knows when. Ah, then I realized I will soon get 2 monetary awards from my employer, love you employer, gimme my new LV, gimme, gimme !
And then, a good friend and and I realized we MAY be losing weight. We had FUNtastic yoga classes this week, I feel strong, toned, confident, taller, straighter, healthier, slimmer ? Yeh, it doesn't matter how I look, I do feel slimmer. I think I eat less, going to yoga classes is easier, nobody to lure me into eating countless meals a day. I can now wear my old yoga attire that has been begging me to lose weight and put them to good use, just like my skinny jeans. I was wondering, why, why am I losing weight, why oh why ? Ah, the beautiful stranger, damn him ! He's been out of my sight for a while and his absence give me such a better looking body, I think ! A friend said ' Gosh ! so he's our FAT DEMON all this while huh !'. Yes, Beautiful Stranger is in fact the Fat Demon !
Fat Demon, we miss you till no words can describe, when you come back, you will look at nothing but fabulosity, that we will look exactly like the thin Kimora, only shorter !!!
And then, a good friend and and I realized we MAY be losing weight. We had FUNtastic yoga classes this week, I feel strong, toned, confident, taller, straighter, healthier, slimmer ? Yeh, it doesn't matter how I look, I do feel slimmer. I think I eat less, going to yoga classes is easier, nobody to lure me into eating countless meals a day. I can now wear my old yoga attire that has been begging me to lose weight and put them to good use, just like my skinny jeans. I was wondering, why, why am I losing weight, why oh why ? Ah, the beautiful stranger, damn him ! He's been out of my sight for a while and his absence give me such a better looking body, I think ! A friend said ' Gosh ! so he's our FAT DEMON all this while huh !'. Yes, Beautiful Stranger is in fact the Fat Demon !
Fat Demon, we miss you till no words can describe, when you come back, you will look at nothing but fabulosity, that we will look exactly like the thin Kimora, only shorter !!!
Tuesday 26 April 2011
Tale of a dress - sad story
Life changes after J.Lo looks alike attempt. My stranger, after spending days being the person I wish he is when we were together, has changed. He become a sad, depressed person. I was working when he texted me early in the morning asking about boys, then said something like 'hey ! please tell boys I love them no matter what, if I were to leave this world before you, please come and visit my grave, it will make me rest in peace, hopefully'. Now, I was stunned not knowing how to respond. I must have forgotten how to breathe until I feel the warmth of my tears come running down my face. What is wrong him ? And before I get to respond, he texted again 'Yeah, you know my blood pressure is going up lately, I'm just feeling ..... different'. Well my stranger, I am feeling different and sad. For once I thought I can forget him and move on with my life, if I ever decided to not rebuild our lives like before. But my tears is telling me that I probably do care about him, worry about him, love him ? I don't know. I just want my children to have a father they can grow up with, to wrestle with, making fun of each other, to do the spanking business, to be there when they graduate, at weddings, enjoying grandchildren. Why does he sounds like he's giving up on life? I was crying all day at every opportunities, even quietly during a meeting that talk about technology. Technology? I don't care, I am feeling sad dear technology, for now you have to be on your own !!
A friend later told me, it's probably good that he's feeling like that, he is probably knocking some senses back to his head, another friend told me not to worry, it's probably the J.Lo dress again. See, isn't friendship great !!
A friend later told me, it's probably good that he's feeling like that, he is probably knocking some senses back to his head, another friend told me not to worry, it's probably the J.Lo dress again. See, isn't friendship great !!
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